im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
