we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
we should paint friendship bongs
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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