im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
