i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
