just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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