she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
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Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
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all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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