I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
