these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
