We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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