Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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