Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
