i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
So many bounce houses so little time
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I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
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I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He? As in you personified your dick?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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