I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I just blew my weed a kiss
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
