What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
i think my cat just said my name.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
