Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
he fucked my hip out of place.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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