If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
