Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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