why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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