Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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