As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
