wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.