that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.