Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...