I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"