garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Buhtt sex?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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