I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
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He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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