Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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