just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize