we have pet lesbian snakes
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
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