Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
