I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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