VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
