this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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