I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
