i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
