problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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