These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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