5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him