How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
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You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.