You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress