Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket