he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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