This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
