Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
