I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
