Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.