Texts From Last Night

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  (425): View more from Washington

  i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....

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  (425): i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is.... http://tfl.nu/ar6t
  Replies (36) Good night (3144) Bad night (655)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed

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  (561): i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed http://tfl.nu/x39u
  Replies (63) Good night (987) Bad night (11082)
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  (310): View more from California

  Sorry I couldn't get my dick out

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  (310): Sorry I couldn't get my dick out http://tfl.nu/ywcl
  Replies (22) Good night (906) Bad night (6399)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy

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  (816): I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy http://tfl.nu/kyus
  Replies (16) Good night (4824) Bad night (694)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.

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  (410): So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer. http://tfl.nu/24xs
  Replies (16) Good night (1364) Bad night (3060)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  That's what she gets for taking his peeps.

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  (201): Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway (860): That's what she gets for taking his peeps. http://tfl.nu/3z72
  Replies (12) Good night (1033) Bad night (3057)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.

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  (573): A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb. http://tfl.nu/1cz1
  Replies (6) Good night (3426) Bad night (919)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?

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  (601): Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her? http://tfl.nu/n019
  Replies (15) Good night (7751) Bad night (1250)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you

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  (505): i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you http://tfl.nu/pwks
  Replies (11) Good night (5586) Bad night (1480)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover

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  (847): I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover http://tfl.nu/981k
  Replies (7) Good night (2678) Bad night (929)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.

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  (904): Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience. http://tfl.nu/i4o0
  Replies (5) Good night (1891) Bad night (859)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I have no recollection of sleep choking you

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  (860): I have no recollection of sleep choking you http://tfl.nu/6fhf
  Replies (8) Good night (1586) Bad night (2236)
• Favorite

  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?

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  (506): Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs? http://tfl.nu/qbtb
  Replies (9) Good night (892) Bad night (335)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?

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  (323): I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there? http://tfl.nu/203x
  Replies (7) Good night (429) Bad night (563)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.

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  (585): I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet. http://tfl.nu/tbft
  Replies (2) Good night (330) Bad night (469)

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