Texts From Last Night

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  (909): View more from California

  yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face

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  (909): yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face http://tfl.nu/l391
  Replies (13) Good night (5023) Bad night (686)
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  (530): View more from California

  I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.

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  (530): I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store. http://tfl.nu/ogm6
  Replies (18) Good night (1245) Bad night (4016)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.

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  (917): she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could. http://tfl.nu/cj4q
  Replies (74) Good night (3862) Bad night (17960)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances

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  (250): My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances http://tfl.nu/ihp8
  Replies (15) Good night (1140) Bad night (4815)
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  (716): View more from New York

  He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.

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  (716): He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready. http://tfl.nu/z83a
  Replies (9) Good night (4867) Bad night (740)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.

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  (386): I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music. http://tfl.nu/9pnm
  Replies (31) Good night (7776) Bad night (1264)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend

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  (208): I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend http://tfl.nu/wdl5
  Replies (13) Good night (3262) Bad night (650)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.

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  (336): Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom. http://tfl.nu/g9fv
  Replies (2) Good night (1186) Bad night (633)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted

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  (401): remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted http://tfl.nu/rrq3
  Replies (7) Good night (1354) Bad night (435)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.

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  (978): Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace. http://tfl.nu/dayc
  Replies (4) Good night (1160) Bad night (399)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won

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  (774): Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won http://tfl.nu/tslf
  Replies (10) Good night (1316) Bad night (391)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"

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  (540): Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home" http://tfl.nu/xfn6
  Replies (7) Good night (1341) Bad night (254)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think we have a problem.

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  (814): I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom. (724): I think we have a problem. http://tfl.nu/1uid
  Replies (5) Good night (515) Bad night (1520)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.

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  (717): You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you. http://tfl.nu/xdv6
  Replies (2) Good night (487) Bad night (242)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  If you need anything just hit me up

  (845): View more from New York

  Pancakes

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Noted.

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  (201): If you need anything just hit me up (845): Pancakes (201): Noted. http://tfl.nu/a0ik
  Replies (1) Good night (671) Bad night (175)

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