I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.