JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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