Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
