those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
