I like my sex mixed with concussions.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
