This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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