oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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