Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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