I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
