The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
