i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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