there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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