The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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