is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
